Lying back on the grassy land. I looked up into the blue sky, tears begin to form at the corner of my eyes. I felt so lost without anyone. Nobody took any notice of me. Nobody would. They left one by one. There were voices of comfort at first, it grew to be chiding me, arguing which relative's house should I be dump at next. Continuous days of not eating left my health deteriorating. I held back a bitter laugh, I was just like my dad. The man whom I hate and love so much. I hate him for leaving me. But I love him for being the perfect daddy 6 months back.
I grew up in a single-parent family. Mum left when I was just 2 years old. My memories of her were foggy. There was a lady who fed me, play with me, went on picnics together. But there was never a sense of familiarity with her. She always remained as a scene through a frosted window. It was my dad I was close to. He was always there for me, whether I need him or not. I used to be bullied in school, for coming from a single-parent family. For having no mummy to pack my lunch, to pick me up after school. I grew up to be an insecure adolescent. People stay away from me and group work were always a nuisance. Some cliques will be forced to accept me. But I never let that bother me. I had my dad. That was all I wanted. But nothing goes your way. Fate had to interrupt our peaceful life and played a cruel joke on me. She brought away dad.
It was my 18th birthday. Dad never misses any one of my birthday. No matter how many jobs he take, no matter how busy he is. He never fails to surprise me every year. I'll never forget that fateful day. It was past midnight, I was already dozing off. But there was still no sign of dad and my heart begun to beat quick and fast. I heard a loud rap on the door and my heart skipped a beat. It has to be dad. I thought to myself as I sighed with relief and opened the door. I looked straight into a blue uniform and as I looked up, I saw an unfamiliar face.
"Is Miss Lin Jia Min in?" He asked.
"I am. Is something wrong?" I replied quizzically.
"I'm sorry for the unfortunate news," he paused for a while. Suddenly, something struck me and I knew I don't want to hear anymore. But he continued, "Your father was involved in a hit-and-run accident... He passed away on the spot."
I looked at him, frowning. I did not seem to understand what he was trying to say. It just doesn't make sense.
"My dad..is dead?" I wondered out loud.
"Yes. Can you please make a trip to confirm the body?"
"Yea.....sure.." I answered, nodding my head numbly.
The morgue was really quiet, but peaceful, instead of being eerie. I was led into a room and saw a body on the table. My instincts screamed for me to run away, but I insisted on talking a step forward. I could see the man clearly and its not a scene you would forget. His skin was pale white. His arms muscular. His hair tousled, high nose and closed eyes. If not for the big wound in his head, I would have thought he was sleeping. Suddenly, something stirred within me and tears welled on in my eyes, rolled down my cheeks dripped on to dad's arm. I stood there, not doing anything, sobbing silently. I refused to touch him, to interrupt this peaceful picture. But my tears continued flowing. It was hours before someone dragged me away. That was the last I saw of my dad.
I stopped eating after that. Only consuming when I was on the verge of dying. Some part of me was ripped out when dad died. There were relatives who pitied me and took me in. But one by one, they started to dread the mere sight of me. I was told that I had a bad influence on their kids. For those without, they will cook up with some ridiculous excuse just to kick me to the next relative in line. I led a meaningless life and was lost without my dad. I would visit the places we went so often, but i never cried after that day. I refused to shed another tear for the man who left me lost and alone in this inhuman world.
My eyes filled up with tears and it overflowed. The blue sky slowly lost its color and fade away. My eyes gradually close. I had never felt this lost.
Fiction