If you let me, I'd say am sorry.
navigations are the fours lines of lyrics.
they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).
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Friday, September 25, 2009, 6:52 AM
had a long talk with weitao just now. and its still going on =] haiz. I'm really getting mood swings these few days. I'm really like depressed. Cause of all thats happening right now. I'm really numbed. Stop telling me that you're suffering. For me, thats putting it mildly. I'm practically dying. The whole inside of me. Its horrible, hideous. I want to cry. I really want to. Can I? Without causing trouble, without having you guys to worry? This is stupid. Seriously. I just need you guys to understand me. Is that such a hard thing to do?
Stop. Right here. Right now.
Thursday, September 24, 2009, 7:50 AM
Had chinese and science test today. The chinese one was horrible I totally flunk it. Science was not bad. Then went to the table tennis competition. Didn't play. But lost anw. Lrt-ed home at 4 plus. Then had mavis, was slacking for the 2 hours there. Played words game and 'zhong ji mi ma'. Didn't even got once. The only once was when they sabo me :D Ate kfc after that and now watching 'ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni'. The new badminton coach came alr, I think. Looking forward to badminton tomorrow.
You know what, please stop complaining to me that you are tired, you are feeling so depressed, you suspect having depression. Please, for god's sake, you aren't the only one. I'm also suffering but not saying a word. You think by spitting it all out, things will get better? Sorry so spoil your dream, but they won't. So stop bothering me with your worries. I mean, I'm okay if you speak to me sometime, telling me your things. But, you are saying it as though I don't have a worry in this world. I do. I'm telling you that, I do have my worries. Seriously, I'm sick of all this. You tell me you have depression, do you even know how it feels like?
You feel suicidal.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009, 6:43 AM
Exams are around the corner already. Everything seems so fast, like blurring in front of my eyes. This is soooo stupid. Going through the same thing every year. Seriously, I need to buck up and get good results if i want my toy poodle, which I think I won't be getting it too fast. This is so totally not like me to get so nervous and study. Guess I won't be scoring so well this time. I'm really worried about it. If I don't do well this time..I don't know what will happen. I'm really scared. Where are you?
I really need you. Where are you?
Monday, September 21, 2009, 5:17 AM
hooked on 'the time traveler's wife' these few days. Its really nice. Recommended by me =] Halfway through it. I wanted to go jogging today but it rained. Too bad =] seriously! Not that I was lazy :D Was halfway through dinner when I suddenly realised tomorrow's timetable is changing to monday's. Was in a horrible mood the whole day. People were like eyeing me as if I was some dangerous animal that should be caged. I probably am. Didn't know what triggered me. If was like someone flip a switch inside me and all I could do was to lash out at someone. I've trying to get out of people's ways the whole day but just when I wanna be alone. People are suddenly all around you. My mood swings are really bad these few days. I would be smiling and cracking jokes and the next moment I would be glaring at you. Haiz. I'm seriously feeling depressed at the moment for all sorts of reasons. Can you just leave me alone? I'm getting really tired. This is so stupid. I need my space. My patience has a limit. I think you've just reached it. Get out. Now. Seriously, you are getting on my nerves. I'm practically breaking my neck trying to stop myself from screaming at you.
But you can't, because you didn't.
Friday, September 18, 2009, 8:41 AM
last day of school for the week. was quite bored cause didn't have badminton today. was used for the motivation workshop. then when i went to hall that evening, it was empty. retarded. went pei hwa cafe to eat with pei lin and xue qi. after that went back school, wanted to get some papers from mr chng de. turns out he was out of school cause of odac. then went home. was really scared when i got ijnto to lift. cause of that stupid 4bia trailer i saw today. i was really and thoroughly shaken. nevermind, don't wish to recall back again. then went downstairs and bought magazine. cause there was a big poster of new moon. gotta tell doreen ;D now watching why why love. didn't really caught every episode cause its showing from 11.30 - 1..i think. i'll always fall asleep halfway through the show. anw, watched 2 movies today. one was a repeat. which is ponyo. the other was up. wasn't really interested in up partly cause the quality was really bad. the other reason was cause i was watching 'ming zhong zhu din wo ai ni' on channel u aat the same time and it doesn't have any quality problem ;D watch commercials today in home econ class. i like the beer one with 'can't take my eyes off you' didn't hear that song for a long time, was nice to recall how much i love it.
I actually can take my eyes off you..
Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 10:15 PM
had home based learning today again . But cause I don't know got new assignment. Then woke up damn late. But the advantage was that I didn't need to wait to log in. There wasn't any data overload whatnot. Then reading eclipse again. Enjoyed it a lot. And actually waiting for untempted to be out. Left history on so far, plus the tee we have to design. I seriously have no talent in the area of art. Though I do love music. All those that include talking up your pencil, one word to describe me: sucks. Its sucks to draw and my drawing sucks too. Breakfast was putted off to let me complete my work. That was a first. Usually my stomach come before my work or my brain. Gaining weight these few days, since I'm like stuck at home. Was actually planning to go jogging yesterday. But you know, the weather was hideous. Not that I don't want to go exercising, it was the weather...seriously! :D
Its a fairytale, one with no happy endings.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 8:30 AM
going to have home based learning from tmr onwards. till thur. should be interesting... will get to watch my shows while doing school work :D doesnt sounds bad. bought alot of chocolate home today. hope to be happy by eating loads of it. i can tell its not woking, at all. had mavis today, was totally not in the mood for math. ended up copying most of the answers. haiz. i'm having mental decline. anw, bought cleo today. cause there is news one kristen.s and robert.p. were saying if they are off screen lovers. hope the are. cute :D then did my sci homework. still got lots haven do arh.. haiz. two days only still need to give out so much work. cruel. abuse arh. now half-watching legend of the condor heroes. damn freaking interesting. my eyes are obviously closing alr. just that i dont wanna sleep. seriously. switched to channel u. its the show bout telling you sorry to someone, but its too late or what. which i agree totally. cause when you wanna apologize, its alr too late. i know people say 'its not too late to apologize'. but there has to be limit. and there will be a limit to everything.
Monday, September 14, 2009, 6:10 AM
you know i've read a few blogs. and found that the world out there isnt much of a difference to mine. everyone is feeling all depressed and frustrated. trouble in love life, family problems, homework. etc. life, is really fair isnt it? everybody has their fair share of depressed things. and fair share of optimistic. its just what you make out of it. and i just realised that today. am i stupid or what? but looks like i didnt made anything decent out of my 'fair share'. ironic. here am i telling you guys bout how to be contented. and here am i telling you guys how depressed i am. maybe i've got split personality. who is the real me? i think the mask is getting nearer and nearer. trying to pass off as me..
if you let me, 'll say i'm sorry. if sorry wont help. nothing will. 当你什么都不知道,那将会是大家所说的:幸福。
Saturday, September 12, 2009, 6:51 AM
the cup is either half empty or half full. never really full or totally empty. isnt that how human life is suppose to work? but seems that i've drank most of mine in my earlier days. and now i'm paying the price for it by getting with less than most people are getting through. less water. less sun. less optimistic attitude. i'll never understand why god chose to put me under the category of humans. when i know i dont fit in. when i know how hard it is not to breathe but choose to suffocate myself to feel that i exist.
if you let me, i'll say i'm sorry.
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Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.
Your typical next door girl
Jiamin
ex-northspringer ; Peihwaian
我可以天真无邪,我可以自认很成熟,有时的我宁可相信一切的好,有时我却痛恨这一切
当你发现我远不可近,我却就在你面前,有时很幼稚,但也有哲学的时候
这一切的一切,拼凑起来就是我
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Peihwa
1e1 '08
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Adilah
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Andrew
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Charles
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Doreen
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Eden
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Elena
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Hillary
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Isabel
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Jermaine
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Nadiah
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Nicole
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Patricia
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Peilin
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Wen
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Sarah
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Shauna
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Weiru
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Wingyin
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Wyndee
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Xueqi
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Yaokun
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Northspring
k6 '07
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Amanda LCF
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Amanda LWT
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Fena
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Huiyang
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Jasmine
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Jean
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Liling
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Melody
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Serwei
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Seryun
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Sheena
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Sweeny
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Szehui
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Vivien
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Weitao
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Yingxuan
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Yongqin
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Ziyan
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+ CHANGES
+ Common tests are finally over. Feeling demoralised...
+ Miss you guys
+ Thoughts
+ Those people who wants to or already committed sui...
+ Lost
+ Unidentified objects
+ Been busy for like basically the whole week. But w...
+ You know, I have no freaking idea what's wrong wit...
+ Noticed an interesting phenomenon. Things are not ...
+ April 2009
+ May 2009
+ June 2009
+ July 2009
+ September 2009
+ October 2009
+ November 2009
+ December 2009
+ January 2010
+ February 2010
An accidentality production
Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D
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